List All Categories   
Take the Test   Login to Club Guydom

Category: Partying 

Rating:

GuyRule # 118.: Wine Selection

"When you get snookered into going to a fancy restaurant, whether just with your wife/girlfriend or with other couples, and they ask you to choose the wine, even if you know squat about wine, even if the last time you actually had wine was in a church, even if you'd much rather be having a cold one -- you must make the choice. That's the rule and you can never ever decline, regardless if there is a wine connoisseur at the table with you. At all times you must make it look like you are a worldly type of Guy, and when doing so, you must appear to have full control over the situation.

Look at the wine list for at least 5 minutes in complete silence, nodding and raising an eyebrow every so often so as to make it look like you've been impressed. Pick one that you're sure you can pronounce. Call the waiter over and ask 'How is your '94 [some wine] versus the '93 [some wine]?' This makes it look to others like you can actually tell the difference between vintages. Then, regardless of what the waiter says, say 'I'd like to try it.' (it being the cheaper one if you're paying or it being the expensive one if someone else is paying). When the waiter comes back and gives you a taste, take a medium-sized sip and keep it in your mouth while closing your eyes, swallow slowly and tell the waiter 'Yes my friend, this will do nicely.' This tells the womenfolk that you actually have a sincere interest in this crap and it makes the other guys think "hey, don't mess with this guy he really know his shit, even if it tastes like crap I'm going to pretend that I like it too so I don't look like a complete idiot."

Also, if another guy chooses the wine you must pretend that you like it even if you don't. Hey, he knows the rule and would do it for you." -Robs

Result not available