"Any time a pro football game is on the television and you are watching, you can not have any contact with a woman, especially a girlfriend or wife, unless they are directly involved in watching the game as well. You can never leave at any time during the game to phone her, not even at halftime. Halftime is reserved for discovering what is happening in every game you can't watch. A woman is only allowed in the room if she is willing to watch the game. If she speaks of anything other than football, and most especially anything emotional in any way, she is banished until the end of the game. You may however answer any questions she has that relate directly to the game, no matter how stupid they may seem. Any effort on her part to learn about football should be rewarded." -Chris Ripley
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